Children And Grief
Death is a natural event. Experts agree that children, even the very young, should not be shielded from the death of a loved one. Children have the capacity to recognize death as an event and the curiosity to ask questions about the event. The general advice is to talk to the child simply and truthfully about the death, in an age-appropriate manner.
Ask questions to determine what the child already knows about the situation. You may then explain the situation to him simply and honestly. For instance, you may say, “Grandma’s heart got too tired and stopped working, so she died.”
It is important to avoid giving answers that may confuse or frighten the child, such as “Grandma went to sleep and is not going to wake up” or “God took Grandma to be with the angels.” While these phrases are meant to comfort and soothe, the child may actually interpret them in a far more literal sense. For example, the child might develop a fear of going to sleep because the same thing might happen to him.
Allow the child to ask questions if he wants, but do not pressure him if he doesn’t respond. A younger child may ask questions such as “Where is Grandma now?” or “Is my kitty in heaven?” Older children may comprehend the finality of death more fully, and ask more abstract questions that are related to issues of faith, the meaning of life, etc.
For any age group, stick with truthful, simple answers in terms that the child can understand.
How do you explain the death of a loved one to a child?
The age and emotional development of a child will influence the way they experience grief.
Ages 2 to 7
Up to 7 years of age, children see death mainly as a separation event. This may cause them to feel abandoned and scared. They may fear being alone, and may not want to sleep alone at night, or go to school.
Because children this young are usually not skilled at verbally expressing their feelings, they may “act out” instead, through behaviors such as temper tantrums, refusing to obey adults, or creating an imaginary life, accompanied by role-playing. Other behaviors, usually manifested by children between the ages of 2 and 5, may include eating, sleeping, toileting, or bed-wetting problems. Very young children under the age of 2 may suddenly refuse to talk, and become more irritable in general.
Ages 7 to 12
Children in this age group have begun to understand death as a permanent event. They may regard death as a more personal threat to their individual safety, develop a fear of dying themselves, or resort to “preventive” behaviors to “protect” themselves from death, such as aligning themselves with someone they think can protect them, or focusing on being “brave” or being “good”. Others may simply withdraw socially and/or emotionally from others.
Symptoms may include problems concentrating on schoolwork, trouble following directions, and difficulty in performing daily tasks.
Teens
While teenagers understand and perceive death in closely the same way as adults, they may express their grief differently. They may react in more dramatic ways, or adopt reckless behaviors in an attempt to “defy” death. Reckless driving, smoking, drinking alcohol, taking illegal drugs, or having unprotected sex may all be forms of “acting out” their anxieties and feelings of grief.
Thoughts of suicide may sometimes be present in a teen that is having trouble processing his or her loss. Warning signs of suicide in children and teens may include a preoccupation with death, having thoughts or openly talking about suicide, or giving away belongings.
Parents of teens who have lost a loved one should be aware of any changes in their child’s behavior, and should seek professional counseling immediately for the child if they feel their child may be in danger.
Privacy Policy
Effective Date: April 12, 2019
We use your data to provide and improve the Service. By using the Service, you agree to the collection and use of information in accordance with this policy. Unless otherwise defined in this Privacy Policy, terms used in this Privacy Policy have the same meanings as in our Terms and Conditions, accessible from https://www.tukios.com
Information Collection and Use
Types of Data Collected
While using our Service, we may ask you to provide us with certain personally identifiable information that can be used to contact or identify you ("Personal Data"). Personally identifiable information may include, but is not limited to:
- Email Address
- First and Last Name
- Phone Number
- Address, State, Province, ZIP/Postal Code, City
- Cookies and Usage Data
Usage Data
We may also collect information how the Service is accessed and used ("Usage Data"). This Usage Data may include information such as your computer's Internet Protocol address (e.g. IP address), browser type, browser version, the pages of our Service that you visit, the time and date of your visit, the time spent on those pages, unique device identifiers and other diagnostic data.
We use cookies and similar tracking technologies to track the activity on our Service and hold certain information.
Cookies are files with small amount of data which may include an anonymous unique identifier. Cookies are sent to your browser from a website and stored on your device. Tracking technologies also used are beacons, tags, and scripts to collect and track information and to improve and analyze our Service.
You can instruct your browser to refuse all cookies or to indicate when a cookie is being sent. However, if you do not accept cookies, you may not be able to use some portions of our Service.
Examples of Cookies we use:
- Session Cookies. We use Session Cookies to operate our Service.
- Preference Cookies. We use Preference Cookies to remember your preferences and various settings.
- Security Cookies. We use Security Cookies for security purposes.
Use of Data
- To provide and maintain the Service
- To notify you about changes to our Service
- To allow you to participate in interactive features of our Service when you choose to do so
- To provide customer care and support
- To provide analysis or valuable information so that we can improve the Service
- To monitor the usage of the Service
- To detect, prevent and address technical issues
Transfer of Data
If you are located outside United States and choose to provide information to us, please note that we transfer the data, including Personal Data, to United States and process it there.
Your consent to this Privacy Policy followed by your submission of such information represents your agreement to that transfer.
Tukios, Inc. will take all steps reasonably necessary to ensure that your data is treated securely and in accordance with this Privacy Policy and no transfer of your Personal Data will take place to an organization or a country unless there are adequate controls in place including the security of your data and other personal information.
Disclosure of Data
Tukios, Inc. may disclose your Personal Data in the good faith belief that such action is necessary to:
- To comply with a legal obligation
- To protect and defend the rights or property of Tukios, Inc.
- To prevent or investigate possible wrongdoing in connection with the Service
- To protect the personal safety of users of the Service or the public
- To protect against legal liability
Security of Data
Service Providers
These third parties have access to your Personal Data only to perform these tasks on our behalf and are obligated not to disclose or use it for any other purpose.
We may use third-party Service Providers to monitor and analyze the use of our Service.
Google Analytics is a web analytics service offered by Google that tracks and reports website traffic. Google uses the data collected to track and monitor the use of our Service. This data is shared with other Google services. Google may use the collected data to contextualize and personalize the ads of its own advertising network.
You can opt-out of having made your activity on the Service available to Google Analytics by installing the Google Analytics opt-out browser add-on. The add-on prevents the Google Analytics JavaScript (ga.js, analytics.js, and dc.js) from sharing information with Google Analytics about visits activity.
For more information on the privacy practices of Google, please visit the Google Privacy & Terms web page: https://policies.google.com/privacy?hl=en
Links to Other Sites
We have no control over and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies or practices of any third party sites or services.
Children's Privacy
We do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from anyone under the age of 18. If you are a parent or guardian and you are aware that your Children has provided us with Personal Data, please contact us. If we become aware that we have collected Personal Data from children without verification of parental consent, we take steps to remove that information from our servers.
Changes to this Privacy Policy
We will let you know via email and/or a prominent notice on our Service, prior to the change becoming effective and update the "effective date" at the top of this Privacy Policy.
You are advised to review this Privacy Policy periodically for any changes. Changes to this Privacy Policy are effective when they are posted on this page.
Contact Us
- By phone at 801-682-4391
- By email at support@tukios.com
